Be Cool

At the time, I didn't remember being part of the 'cool' crowd. Back in high school or junior high that is... The high school I went to, the cool kids were the money kids. The affluent, the 'already-got-a-car', the expensive clothes and all that. At the time, it seemed that being cool was the only driving force in life for most. I was never particularly impressed or losing sleep that I wasn't in that crowd. Looking back now, it seems so obvious that people were crying out for validation, for acceptance, for people to be interested in them.

I remember my junior high and high school days relatively fondly. I wasn't 'popular' as I remember it... although when I think about it, I had really good friends, I was known in the school for various activities, my teachers (well, most of them) liked me. I learned early on that I had a knack for saying something in such a way that would either make someone laugh or at least smile. Did I desperately want to be accepted? Yeah, probably. Did I grow out of it? Well, I do prefer that people like me than not like me. It just seems more obvious now when people are vainly trying to get validated. Take your MySpace, Bebo, even Facebook. People trying to get validation in a high-school mentality. I think that's why a growing population of people over the age of 30 are engaging more in the social networking stuff. They're trying to get people to like them all over again. MySpace, Facebook... same thing. Get people to be your 'friend', rate your friends' "hotness" level, throw a sheep at someone, list your favourite tv characters and hey, I like them too, let's be best friends!

Don't get me wrong, I like social networking, it's changing the culture in such a rapid fashion and replacing technology at an amazing rate. I have a Facebook page, I think it's fun. Do I engage in all the little things that people do? No. I poke from time to time, I buy 'friends' as 'pets', I play Scrabulous. I had a MySpace page for a while which is even more high-school than the others.

The point is... you spend so much of your youth and childhood feeling pressure to feel that people should like you, that you need constant affection and if you aren't getting that validation that you're a loveable person, then there must be something wrong with you. True esteem comes from within... you can't get it from another person. Not through compliments, not through how much money you've got or how many friends you have, not through sex. You do the best you feel humanely are able to and believe in yourself. That's where the real validation comes from, when you look at yourself in the mirror and say "you know what? I treat people with respect, I like myself, people seem to enjoy my company".

I'd hate to be a teenager again. How will I manage Smidget and any siblings he may or may not have down the road? Just encourage him to be decent to people, to rise above anything that he's not comfortable with, and to like himself. If he's anything then like he is now, he's awfully cute. As long as he remembers that with some humility, all will be good.