Butt out

I've been giving a lot of thought to the issue of smoking... which I abhor. I'm not going to get into a persons' rights or anything like that... you want to close yourself off in a room and puff away, be my guest. Where I have an issue is, of course, when this smoke hits me.


I apologise for any generalizations... but it seems that many smokers have a different set of values or rules for behaviour. I was entering a mall last week and two women were walking ahead of me, one smoking. Just before going through the door, the woman tossed her butt down and squashed it with her heel... and proceeded to enter the building as if the butt no longer existed. Apparently her magic foot made the butt completely vanish to her. What's up with that?? I also routinely see butts tossed out car windows... outside office buildings, sidewalks etc.. what's in a smokers mentality that the spent cigarette vanishes from the earth?

I'm getting more and more aware, even before Smidget arrives, of what tiny people can pick up off the ground... put in their mouths etc. The example of the woman outside the mall? Going in the entrance to Sears and the baby section.

So how do you discourage smoking? There's lots more info out there now about the dangers of smoking than when I was a kid so that should help... The health dangers are well-documented, one only need look at someone who's smoked for their whole life, sallow faces, hacking cough... spot 'em a mile away.

I wonder about the technique my dad used on me... before I was born, apparently he smoked cigarillos. I can recall a time, I was maybe 3 or 4, maybe 5... he sat me down in my room, with a little table and a BIG glass of water. He had me take a puff. It was the worst, most vile thing I'd ever tasted... that water was drained in no time. Never ever wanted to touch one again.

Hmm... I wonder if that was an anti-smoking technique or if he just wanted someone to smoke with...

Passing along Pet Peeves

In the course of my new son's life... whenever that may begin... he will undoubtedly pick up on any pet peeves I or his mother have.

How does one internalize what ticks them off? Do you pick it up from your parents? There are a few of mine but I don't exactly know why they irritate me, only that they do.

Here are some of my more notable, or at least more frequent, things in the world that irritate:


1) Bad drivers and insensitive 'mergers' - I'll admit it, I'm a talker when I drive. People going too slow, slow down for no apparent reason, speed up when I move out to pass and then slow down... and those bad mergers, you know who you are... when the two-lane road you're on will be merging into one... but you... you have to race ahead to the very end and then cut in which then slows down the whole process. Cell phone and Blackberry users... c'mon, try to remember you're driving.


2) Elevator & escalator 'bunchers' - For the elevators, especially buildings where there are multiple banks of elevators... people that stand in front of their 'bank', suddenly completely oblivious to the possibility that there are people coming in behind them... thus blocking access to the rest of the hallway and other elevators.

Escalator people are another thing... related (maybe even the same) to the elevator bunchers. Arriving at the top, or bottom, of the escalator and stopping to look around, check their watch, scratch something inappropriate, whatever... suddenly oblivious to the magical moving staircase that brought them there and completely forgetting the fact that the magic stairs might be doing the same for other people right behind you who have no-where to go but right into you. C'mon now, a little human decency!

3) Grocery carters - while it would be truly nice if they'd let one person at a time in to the grocery store to shop, it just doesn't work that way. There are many. Chances are, shopping for items in the same row. The people that, while browsing (which is totally fine), leave their cart in the middle of the aisle or otherwise block a busy laneway seem to forget that sadly, other people are there that day. Grocery carts are not what one would call nimble and agile and to try and get around...

It all comes down to respect really. So will my son pick up on my exhales of breath when encountering one of the above situations? Will he know why? Will it drive him nuts too or will he think I'm too uptight? If I figure out how to teach respect for others, will he internalise that?

Wait... does this mean I have to stop the irritated exhales of breath to try and set an example?

The Smidget commeth

So, I'm gonna be a dad...

My lovely wife and I are 8 months (today) pregnant and we've code named the little guy 'smidget' as that's the first word that popped into my head when I first saw the ultrasound many many months ago. We're also not giving out the short-list of names until the lad arrives... and yes, use of 'little guy' and 'lad' is intentional.

I have to say, it's quite the surreal experience so far. It seems very abstract, all these things we're doing... buying furniture, going to doctors appointments, giving up hockey tickets (ouch) etc... the pre-natal classes were interesting but long (two full Sundays at the hospital is draining), I guess that's preparation for how much time you might actually be at the hospital when the time comes!

During this whole thing, I've been wondering what kind of dad I'll be... will I have to help with math homework (maybe better to ask mom)? How the hell do you teach toilet training? Geez, it's not like I remember how I was taught... What do I tell him about girls?

It also occurs to me... none of these things will really come into play... or will start being an issue for a few years at least. I have very little experience with babies... people seem genuinely amused at me when they see a baby near me... and want to go out of their way for me to hold one just to have a good chuckle.. and tell me that I'm not holding it right.

I'm very fortunate that I've got some great role models to follow... and everyone in the past 5 months (since the news came out) has had advice to offer and seem confident that, while it'll be highly entertaining, I'll be a good dad. The kid won't get my jokes for several years (or, perhaps, never) so I'll have to find filler material in the meantime. Thank God my wife already seems to be a great mom so the little guy is in good hands until I figure out what I'm supposed to do.

So for now the furniture is set up... I initially questioned why we had to have nice, matching baby-room furniture. It's not like the baby will care or remember, or tell his friends when he can talk "Dudes, I got this wicked crib... " but now that it's in the room, my wife's taste is proven right yet again and it's a room to be proud of.

I dunno... babies though seem to be the exact opposite of everything I'm comfortable (or uncomfortable) with... such as sleep, feces, screaming & crying, change, and fine dining.

The one phrase I hear the most is "Your life as you know it will change". I'm sure that's true.. but I like my life now so the adjustment will be strange. But hey, nearly all of my friends and colleagues have one or more and we do adult stuff together... there's hope!

What Kind of Day Has it Been?

I originally posted this last week and then re-named this blog...

For many years I was a huge fan of "The West Wing" because of its compelling storylines, deep character development, snappy dialogue and how its relationships were developed. It was a crime that it ended after 7 years when it continued to have a lot of potential.

The saving grace was that NBC was bringing back the original writer/creator Aaron Sorkin and his best director, Thomas Schlamme, for a new series "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" for the 2006/07 season. Much the same as the West Wing, it had character development, interesting storylines (making of a show within a show) and spent a good amount of time developing the relationships between its characters... particularly the friendship and history of the two lead characters Matt (played by Matthew Perry) and Danny (Bradley Whitford - also the best character on WW).

I'm writing about this because they featured the Series Finale of this show last week... cancelling after one season. I'm not sure why it didn't get the ratings (or seemingly didn't)... apparently it was the most PVR'd (or TiVo in the States) show but those don't figure into the ratings of a show. I always think it's a shame when the intelligent, well-written shows get cancelled. The finale featured several scenes where you could feel the depth of friendship between Matt and Danny and cared about what happened to them.

Why must the good shows get cancelled or not supported by their networks? Did this show hit too close to home for Hollywood establishment in how it described the inner workings of an SNL-type show?

Paris Hilton gets reams of attention for god-knows-why but intelligent stuff like this gets tossed aside?

The writing of these relationships mirrors how I value my relationships... with my wife, my friends, and the values that make those bonds strong.

"What kind of day has it been?" has been the title of the first season finale of each of Aaron Sorkin's tv series (Sports Night, West Wing, Studio 60).